It's been exactly one week since Natalie and I returned from our incredible four and a half week adventure in Europe. In some ways it's back to business as usual with work, family, and friends and the trip seems somewhat surreal and like a fantastic dream that we've awoken from, but in some ways - everything seems different.
I never thought this trip would be (as Natalie kept saying) "life changing", but now looking back, I don't know how I thought it wouldn't be.
There was this moment in Berlin when I was at this incredible bakery and the waitress asked me what I wanted. Everything looked so good so I asked her to pick for me. She gave me a funny and pointed look and said, "No, you must choose for yourself!".
It was a moment, however small and insignificant as it may have been, that really stuck with me as an analogy for this trip as a whole.
On this trip, I went to some incredible awe-inspiring places, saw some incredible things, ate some incredible calorie-laden food, unabashedly and unsuccessfully let my heart chase down an incredible man across the globe, and spent an incredible and previously unfathomable amount of money doing it all - and I regret nothing.
Every penny saved for and spent on this trip was worth it. Every delicious gmo-free calorie worth consuming. Looking back, even the heartbreak of what happened in Florence, was worth the chance of what it could've been instead.
They always say that life is about choices and I guess it really is.
I'm so grateful that I chose to take this trip. I'm grateful that I had the amazing Natalie Lenhart as my partner in crime who was by my side every step of the way and was the one who really believed that we could make this possible. I couldn't have done it without her. I'm grateful that I met my Dutchman last summer because though admittedly the planning of this trip had begun before I met him, everyone knows it was the love I felt for him that really motivated me to save and make it actually happen so I could have the chance to see him again. Though clearly things didn't work out as I'd hoped, I will always be grateful for that motivation because this trip became so much more than that and really changed so much of the way of I see the world and the way I see myself. Most of all, I'm grateful that when I made the choice to take this trip, that the Universe enfolded in so many ways to make it possible (work, my apartment, etc.)
This trip, in all of its hilarity and joys, taught me so many lessons - strangely enough, primarily about myself. As Natalie and I desperately attempted and failed miserably to fit-in at places like snobby Parisian nightclubs or as hipster Berliners, we realized that we just couldn't and we were faced with the inevitable and (at the time) horrifying conclusion that we had no choice but to accept who we are and be that. We only had the clothes we had, we wore our hair natural, we didn't wear make-up, we didn't know what was cool and not cool, how to behave, how to speak the language, how to get around, how to sculpt ourselves to fit in within these very different cultures....and because of that I started making decisions based on what I wanted versus what I should want.
For the first time in my life, my decisions became based on what made me happy.
So I ate pizza and croissants with wild abandon without wanting to kill myself because they tasted amazing . I goofed around to the Louvre even amidst the chagrin of the pretentious curators because it made me happy. I smiled a lot even though it seems like that's not really the cool thing to do in Europe. I took a chance with a14-hour train ride to go back to a city I'd already seen to see a boy I'd only met once, but who had made my heart feel a way it'd never felt before and then broke it in a way it'd never been broken. I spent more money than I brought with me on things I may not have needed, but am super stoked I now have. I came home and cut off all my hair.
If nothing else, this trip taught me to let my feet leave the ground - that's it's better to jump into something than to stand at the foot of it wondering. We are not made of glass, the choices we make will not break us, but they may make us happy and isn't that the point of this one wild, precious, and incredible life we've been blessed with?
Like that waitress said, "you must choose for yourself"what you want. And after you choose, I guess, you gotta go get it.
I never thought this trip would be (as Natalie kept saying) "life changing", but now looking back, I don't know how I thought it wouldn't be.
There was this moment in Berlin when I was at this incredible bakery and the waitress asked me what I wanted. Everything looked so good so I asked her to pick for me. She gave me a funny and pointed look and said, "No, you must choose for yourself!".
It was a moment, however small and insignificant as it may have been, that really stuck with me as an analogy for this trip as a whole.
On this trip, I went to some incredible awe-inspiring places, saw some incredible things, ate some incredible calorie-laden food, unabashedly and unsuccessfully let my heart chase down an incredible man across the globe, and spent an incredible and previously unfathomable amount of money doing it all - and I regret nothing.
Every penny saved for and spent on this trip was worth it. Every delicious gmo-free calorie worth consuming. Looking back, even the heartbreak of what happened in Florence, was worth the chance of what it could've been instead.
They always say that life is about choices and I guess it really is.
I'm so grateful that I chose to take this trip. I'm grateful that I had the amazing Natalie Lenhart as my partner in crime who was by my side every step of the way and was the one who really believed that we could make this possible. I couldn't have done it without her. I'm grateful that I met my Dutchman last summer because though admittedly the planning of this trip had begun before I met him, everyone knows it was the love I felt for him that really motivated me to save and make it actually happen so I could have the chance to see him again. Though clearly things didn't work out as I'd hoped, I will always be grateful for that motivation because this trip became so much more than that and really changed so much of the way of I see the world and the way I see myself. Most of all, I'm grateful that when I made the choice to take this trip, that the Universe enfolded in so many ways to make it possible (work, my apartment, etc.)
This trip, in all of its hilarity and joys, taught me so many lessons - strangely enough, primarily about myself. As Natalie and I desperately attempted and failed miserably to fit-in at places like snobby Parisian nightclubs or as hipster Berliners, we realized that we just couldn't and we were faced with the inevitable and (at the time) horrifying conclusion that we had no choice but to accept who we are and be that. We only had the clothes we had, we wore our hair natural, we didn't wear make-up, we didn't know what was cool and not cool, how to behave, how to speak the language, how to get around, how to sculpt ourselves to fit in within these very different cultures....and because of that I started making decisions based on what I wanted versus what I should want.
For the first time in my life, my decisions became based on what made me happy.
So I ate pizza and croissants with wild abandon without wanting to kill myself because they tasted amazing . I goofed around to the Louvre even amidst the chagrin of the pretentious curators because it made me happy. I smiled a lot even though it seems like that's not really the cool thing to do in Europe. I took a chance with a14-hour train ride to go back to a city I'd already seen to see a boy I'd only met once, but who had made my heart feel a way it'd never felt before and then broke it in a way it'd never been broken. I spent more money than I brought with me on things I may not have needed, but am super stoked I now have. I came home and cut off all my hair.
If nothing else, this trip taught me to let my feet leave the ground - that's it's better to jump into something than to stand at the foot of it wondering. We are not made of glass, the choices we make will not break us, but they may make us happy and isn't that the point of this one wild, precious, and incredible life we've been blessed with?
Like that waitress said, "you must choose for yourself"what you want. And after you choose, I guess, you gotta go get it.
Thank you to everyone who followed Natalie and I on this incredible journey. Two years ago, I never thought that this was possible and it has been such an amazing blessing. We started this blog to chronicle our adventures in hopes that it would provide a few laughs and perhaps be inspiring to others who, like us, feel wanderlust but aren't sure if it's in the cards. I can promise you, regardless of your financials, age, or situation - it can be if you really want it.
This is the end of this adventure, but just the beginning of many more to come.
Caio for now!
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