Peace and Love Switzerland
I am writing this post from our train which is heading to Florence from our amazing stay in Lausanne, Switzerland. I cannot begin to explain how much Natalie and I loved Switzerland so I'm going to put it in the best way I know how - Switzerland ...is the shit. In fact, Switzerland is so awesome that Natalie and I have decided to stop in Switzerland again in Lucerne after Italy.
Whereas Dublin offered little beyond nightlife, London offered amazing sites but no nightlife, and Paris was a city with incredible sites but a bunch of a-holes - Switzerland offered everything we could have possibly been looking for. In the little Swiss town of Lausanne, just a quick train ride from Geneva, we found incredible beauty, the kindest most welcoming (and most beautiful) people, great food, and a randomly rocking nightlife. Not to mention, of all the places I've been in my entire life, I have never seen a city more clean or felt more safe.
I love Switzerland so much that I am contemplating making it my life goal to secure a Swiss husband so my unborn children and I can have the opportunity to live in this Utopian country where everything is clean, safe, and unimaginably beautiful.
When we stepped off the train in Lausanne, we could see the Swiss Alps and Lake Geneva from the tracks and birds were literally chirping. We knew instantly that Switzerland was going to be a game changer.
Unlike the train stations of our prior stops, the station was impeccably clean. So clean, I was convinced they must have someone cleaning the sidewalks on a daily basis (I found out a few days later that they actually do - every day at 4am they literally wash the sidewalks). Additionally, unlike the train station in Paris, there was no one harassing us when we got off- no gypsies no scary hotel Rwanda bad guys jingling things in our faces. Also it was a quick and easy 4 minute walk from the station to our delightful hostel, Lausanne Guesthouse.
On route to the hostel we had to walk through a tunnel, but instead of smelling like urine, the tunnel smelled like soap and fresh air. Even their phone booths smelled like flowers and the glass was clearly windexed on the regular.
The streets were filled with happy, smiling faces saying "bon jour!" It was like we had somehow found ourselves in the first musical sequence of Beauty and the Beast - it was awesome.
We checked into our hostel, which if I could give 10 stars on hostel world I would because this place was fantastic. Like everything in Switzerland, it was impeccably clean, beautiful, and filled with attractive friendly people. When we got to our room, we were delighted to find a giant window which overlooked the lake and the mountains.
I briefly facetimed my Mom who was thrilled to hear from me and prove her fears wrong that I'd been taken in my incompetence. As I showed her the view, she gasped saying how it brought back memories of her trip to Switzerland. When I hung up, I continued to look outside in absolutely wonder at the beautiful sunny skies until my stomach grumbled and shook me from my day dreaming. I looked at my clock and realized it was 10pm. Yet another beautiful thing about this country, it says light until 11 at night.
Natalie and I found the streets of Lausanne extremely easy to navigate and because we felt safe, we walked everywhere. Though our hostel had provided us with a free transportation card for all trains and busses, we found we didn't need to use it at all. As we began walking from our hostel, we heard music playing and decided to follow it which is where we came across our favorite nightlife spot thus far and the coolest bathroom I've ever seen (but more on that later).
Our first order of business, as it was now 10:45pm and we hadn't eaten all day, was to find a dinner spot. We settled on a restaurant in the thick of the night scene called "Tao" which was a Swiss interpretation of Asian food, which might be the only thing the Swiss don't do well. Their interpretation of "Asian food" was fairly hilarious for 2 reasons. Reason 1 being that their menu includes everything from pot stickers to tiki masala to curry to pad Thai and Dim Sum. Clearly to the Swiss, anything not white, black, or Hispanic was Asian. Reason 2 it was hilarious was because of how expensive and terrible it was.
That said, we still enjoyed Tao and the service was great. Natalie and I even decided to buy a classy fish bowl and drink it on the patio which was great fun.
While enjoying our fish bowl, 4 French speaking Swiss men who spoke no English attempted to make conversation with us via text by using the google translate ap. This proved especially hilarious when they asked us if we wanted to go dance with them (we laughed and said no) and their next follow up (logically) was asking if we'd like to go to their apartment. We also denied that request and they got up and left. Only then did we realize they were all wearing super hot jean capris. Love it.
Next Natalie and I attempted to go to MAD, this super awesome nightclub which apparently is the biggest nightclub in Switzerland. When we found out the cover was 25 francs each (aka $30 per person) we decided to save it for the next night. On our way in, having noticed we spoke English this little Englishman intercepted us and asked if we'd like to join he and his friends. Feeling jolly from our fishbowls (and me having noticed that one of them was tall and good looking), we agreed and walked with them to this cool little bar that had sand all over it.
The English boys proved to be fairly entertaining, though the little one who had found us seemed increasingly agitated that we seemed more interested in chatting with his friends. His agitation hit a whole other level when we corrected him on his pronunciation of a gyro (pronounced euro). Seeing little men get sassy isn't our thing so Natalie and I excused ourselves to the restroom which is where we discovered, wait for it...the worlds coolest bathroom.
This bathroom, I'd like to point out, is totally Swiss in that there's no reason it needed to be so cool, but it was. It basically looked like a big see-through space Rubik cube. It was completely see through when you walk in and then you press a button and the whole thing locks and fogs up so you can no longer see inside. Brilliant. Who wouldn't want to use that bathroom?
After seeing the bathroom, we'd had all the excitement we could have for one night and walked back to the hostel.
In the morning, we woke up, had an espresso and croissant (jealous yet?) and walked down to the lake where we saw more birds chirping, children laughing, clean streets, and people saying "bon jour!". We went to the local store and bought some wine and goodies and hopped on a quick train to Geneva for some beach time.
When we got to Geneva, it was busier than Lausanne but just as incredibly gorgeous and just as clean. Like Lausanne, it was easy to navigate and we quickly found our way to the lake though finding a beach proved somewhat more difficult. After 20 minutes of walking, we spotted a telescope and in 5 seconds became the creepiest American tourists ever as we paid 3 euros to try to spot happy Swiss people in bikinis.
The schmeagolly telescope paid of because we actually did find a beach (or rather what Swiss people use as a beach) and it was awesome. What it was, in fact, was a concrete peninsula which jetted into lake Geneva where people would pay 2 francs a piece to come lay out and tan. On this peninsula was a bar, restaurant, diving boards where you could leap off 20 ft heights, ping pong tables, you name it...
As Natalie and I walked into this Swiss heaven, we quickly realized we had never seen so many beautiful men and women in one place in our lives.
We laid out on our beach towel and quickly became fast friends with the beautiful and nice Swiss man next to us named Loïc who informed us his friend Sebastian would be joining us too. Sebastian proved to be just as good company as his friend and they treated us to a bottle of chilled rose which, I'd like I admit, tastes much better here than in the states. As we drank our chilled wine and laid out on Lake Geneva with our beautiful new friends, I had a brief reflection on how happy I was for the sacrifices id made the last two years in order to make this possible. I also decided that I would like to live here.
My brief fantasy of becoming Swiss quickly became dashed when Loïc informed me that for an American to move here permanently would be nearly impossible. Hence why I've decided, since I can't just love here apparently I will need to find a Swiss husband. As they all seem very beautiful, kind, and successful I'm open to Swiss husband applications at any time.
I relayed to Sebastian how in awe I was of the beauty of Switzerland which is when I found out about the 4am street cleanings.
Now I'm going to try not to get too political, but I'm just saying Switzerland really turned my way of thinking upside down. All I can say is that their people really have it good. It's expensive here, but they get paid well to afford it. (Nearly every car was a BMW or Mercedes. I'm pretty sure they wouldn't even allow my corolla on the road). They pay high taxes, but for those taxes they get free health care, a lot of police to feel safe, and a clean and beautiful environment to live. Additionally, they have free eduction even for their masters degrees so they develop a highly educate and competent society who brings in more revenue and taxes to support their awesome country. It's brilliant. Damn Swiss have it all figured out.
Anyways back to our lovely time at Geneva. After several hours of bliss, our new friend Loïc (who works at a hospital) had to leave for work. Sebastian being the Swiss man that he is which directly translates into super chivalrous, gave us a lift to the train station and even offered to drive us back to Lausanne if we preferred not to take the train (yea the Swiss rock).
When we got back to the hostel, we proceeded to horrify the other guests with some drunk munchies on loaves of bread and cheese before crashing for a quick power nap before MAD.
MAD turned out to be even better than we imagined. We managed to get in the wrong line for entrance, cutting about 50 people and the bouncer not only let us jump the que, but winked at us and said "just go in" thus saving us 50 francs and pretty much making our night because it meant we could eat the next day.
Inside MAD were more beautiful people, though about 15 men to every 1 woman (this seriously never happens in the states). Natalie and I discovered that Swiss men seem to like me, which is also something which never happens in the states and I was quite thrilled with. Most didn't speak English, but I was able to make fairly decent conversation using Spanish (thanks señor capagrecco that high school Spanish finally paid off!).
Natalie was getting her fair share of attention as well when one man came up to her and was dismayed that we didn't speak French. He smiled, threw up a peace sign, and said with a big grin"Peace and Love" before running off to one of the four levels of madness - this place was seriously a zoo in the best way.
Shortly after peace and love peaced out, Natalie and I saw the real live version of Gaston sulking on a bar stool in the corner. He was 6'5, wearing his tightest pants and dress shirt, and had a pompadour which added another 5" to his already gigantic frame. We are still kicking ourselves for not getting a photo with him because later that night we pulled up clips of the Gaston song and nearly wet ourselves laughing so hard at the uncanny resemblance between him and the Disney cartoon.
The next day we went back to the beach, got more tan, drank more wine, and felt genuinely satisfied with our lives.
It was so fun people watching. Natalie and I especially enjoyed the European style swim trunks. They were just all so beautiful and somehow still masculine as they strutted around in their bright very tiny shorts eating their cookies and baguettes and drinking chilled rose.
After Geneva, we stopped at the train station store and bought the worlds most expensive deodorant (supplies had started running low) and I bought a baguette hot dog. I'd like to take a brief moment to point out that all hot dogs should be served this way- seriously.
On my way out of the store, I walked into the glass door. Everyone saw, but those damn Swiss, being the sweet wonderful polite folks they are, all looked away and pretended they didn't see so I wouldn't feel embarrassed. Meanwhile Natalie, clearly not Swiss, (understandably) pointed and laughed hysterically. I didn't care, I was just happy my baguette hot dog had not been injured in the incident.
In the evening, we had fondue and accidentally ordered the most expensive water ever.
We instantly regretted The fondue, which turned out to be more like a giant witch cauldron of cheese that could've fed a mountain village. The guy clearly just gathered all the cheese in his shop and threw it In there. Regardless of the exorbitant amount we paid for our cheese bowl, we mostly regretted it because we didn't have a private room or bathroom at this hostel and we didn't want to be the American version of the icky fat guy in London.
Luckily for us, and our bunk mates, our constitutions proved stronger than we expected and all was well. We had successfully eaten fondue in Switzerland without any repercussion.
On account of the fondue and our early morning train, Natalie and I opted to stay in for the evening and entertain ourselves by watching Gaston clips and downloading tinder to look at Swiss dudes.
As I swiped through my Swiss tinder, I was disgusted to find that nearly every man was absolutely gorgeous. In my brief trial of tinder in the states, I would swipe right once every 30-40 men. Here, even the ugly ones were beautiful. Not to mention, when they would write to me, it was all so nice. Unlike in Sac where a tinder conversation would begin with a copy and pasted message, they genuinely seemed interested in getting to know me and even if they weren't, at least they pretended which, via im message, feels equally satisfying.
The next morning we packed up and I deleted my tinder as I realized, they'll never be this good again. God bless those damn Swiss.
I will miss you Switzerland and your perfectly landscaped view, excessive police force, and hand washed streets - but now it's on to Florence for some pasta, pizza, and schmeagolly Italians!
I will see you again someday- I promise! In the meantime, any interested potential Swiss husbands are welcome to email me personally at LHimmelmann@hotmail.com
I look forward to you siring my children and our happy life together.
Cheers!
I am writing this post from our train which is heading to Florence from our amazing stay in Lausanne, Switzerland. I cannot begin to explain how much Natalie and I loved Switzerland so I'm going to put it in the best way I know how - Switzerland ...is the shit. In fact, Switzerland is so awesome that Natalie and I have decided to stop in Switzerland again in Lucerne after Italy.
Whereas Dublin offered little beyond nightlife, London offered amazing sites but no nightlife, and Paris was a city with incredible sites but a bunch of a-holes - Switzerland offered everything we could have possibly been looking for. In the little Swiss town of Lausanne, just a quick train ride from Geneva, we found incredible beauty, the kindest most welcoming (and most beautiful) people, great food, and a randomly rocking nightlife. Not to mention, of all the places I've been in my entire life, I have never seen a city more clean or felt more safe.
I love Switzerland so much that I am contemplating making it my life goal to secure a Swiss husband so my unborn children and I can have the opportunity to live in this Utopian country where everything is clean, safe, and unimaginably beautiful.
When we stepped off the train in Lausanne, we could see the Swiss Alps and Lake Geneva from the tracks and birds were literally chirping. We knew instantly that Switzerland was going to be a game changer.
(Here's me at the train stop...instantly happier to be out of Paris)
Unlike the train stations of our prior stops, the station was impeccably clean. So clean, I was convinced they must have someone cleaning the sidewalks on a daily basis (I found out a few days later that they actually do - every day at 4am they literally wash the sidewalks). Additionally, unlike the train station in Paris, there was no one harassing us when we got off- no gypsies no scary hotel Rwanda bad guys jingling things in our faces. Also it was a quick and easy 4 minute walk from the station to our delightful hostel, Lausanne Guesthouse.
(Our amazing view from our hostel)
On route to the hostel we had to walk through a tunnel, but instead of smelling like urine, the tunnel smelled like soap and fresh air. Even their phone booths smelled like flowers and the glass was clearly windexed on the regular.
The streets were filled with happy, smiling faces saying "bon jour!" It was like we had somehow found ourselves in the first musical sequence of Beauty and the Beast - it was awesome.
We checked into our hostel, which if I could give 10 stars on hostel world I would because this place was fantastic. Like everything in Switzerland, it was impeccably clean, beautiful, and filled with attractive friendly people. When we got to our room, we were delighted to find a giant window which overlooked the lake and the mountains.
I briefly facetimed my Mom who was thrilled to hear from me and prove her fears wrong that I'd been taken in my incompetence. As I showed her the view, she gasped saying how it brought back memories of her trip to Switzerland. When I hung up, I continued to look outside in absolutely wonder at the beautiful sunny skies until my stomach grumbled and shook me from my day dreaming. I looked at my clock and realized it was 10pm. Yet another beautiful thing about this country, it says light until 11 at night.
Natalie and I found the streets of Lausanne extremely easy to navigate and because we felt safe, we walked everywhere. Though our hostel had provided us with a free transportation card for all trains and busses, we found we didn't need to use it at all. As we began walking from our hostel, we heard music playing and decided to follow it which is where we came across our favorite nightlife spot thus far and the coolest bathroom I've ever seen (but more on that later).
Our first order of business, as it was now 10:45pm and we hadn't eaten all day, was to find a dinner spot. We settled on a restaurant in the thick of the night scene called "Tao" which was a Swiss interpretation of Asian food, which might be the only thing the Swiss don't do well. Their interpretation of "Asian food" was fairly hilarious for 2 reasons. Reason 1 being that their menu includes everything from pot stickers to tiki masala to curry to pad Thai and Dim Sum. Clearly to the Swiss, anything not white, black, or Hispanic was Asian. Reason 2 it was hilarious was because of how expensive and terrible it was.
That said, we still enjoyed Tao and the service was great. Natalie and I even decided to buy a classy fish bowl and drink it on the patio which was great fun.
While enjoying our fish bowl, 4 French speaking Swiss men who spoke no English attempted to make conversation with us via text by using the google translate ap. This proved especially hilarious when they asked us if we wanted to go dance with them (we laughed and said no) and their next follow up (logically) was asking if we'd like to go to their apartment. We also denied that request and they got up and left. Only then did we realize they were all wearing super hot jean capris. Love it.
Next Natalie and I attempted to go to MAD, this super awesome nightclub which apparently is the biggest nightclub in Switzerland. When we found out the cover was 25 francs each (aka $30 per person) we decided to save it for the next night. On our way in, having noticed we spoke English this little Englishman intercepted us and asked if we'd like to join he and his friends. Feeling jolly from our fishbowls (and me having noticed that one of them was tall and good looking), we agreed and walked with them to this cool little bar that had sand all over it.
The English boys proved to be fairly entertaining, though the little one who had found us seemed increasingly agitated that we seemed more interested in chatting with his friends. His agitation hit a whole other level when we corrected him on his pronunciation of a gyro (pronounced euro). Seeing little men get sassy isn't our thing so Natalie and I excused ourselves to the restroom which is where we discovered, wait for it...the worlds coolest bathroom.
This bathroom, I'd like to point out, is totally Swiss in that there's no reason it needed to be so cool, but it was. It basically looked like a big see-through space Rubik cube. It was completely see through when you walk in and then you press a button and the whole thing locks and fogs up so you can no longer see inside. Brilliant. Who wouldn't want to use that bathroom?
After seeing the bathroom, we'd had all the excitement we could have for one night and walked back to the hostel.
In the morning, we woke up, had an espresso and croissant (jealous yet?) and walked down to the lake where we saw more birds chirping, children laughing, clean streets, and people saying "bon jour!". We went to the local store and bought some wine and goodies and hopped on a quick train to Geneva for some beach time.
When we got to Geneva, it was busier than Lausanne but just as incredibly gorgeous and just as clean. Like Lausanne, it was easy to navigate and we quickly found our way to the lake though finding a beach proved somewhat more difficult. After 20 minutes of walking, we spotted a telescope and in 5 seconds became the creepiest American tourists ever as we paid 3 euros to try to spot happy Swiss people in bikinis.
The schmeagolly telescope paid of because we actually did find a beach (or rather what Swiss people use as a beach) and it was awesome. What it was, in fact, was a concrete peninsula which jetted into lake Geneva where people would pay 2 francs a piece to come lay out and tan. On this peninsula was a bar, restaurant, diving boards where you could leap off 20 ft heights, ping pong tables, you name it...
(Natalie playing creepo on the telescope before hitting gold)
As Natalie and I walked into this Swiss heaven, we quickly realized we had never seen so many beautiful men and women in one place in our lives.
(Us loving our lives on Lake Geneva)
We laid out on our beach towel and quickly became fast friends with the beautiful and nice Swiss man next to us named Loïc who informed us his friend Sebastian would be joining us too. Sebastian proved to be just as good company as his friend and they treated us to a bottle of chilled rose which, I'd like I admit, tastes much better here than in the states. As we drank our chilled wine and laid out on Lake Geneva with our beautiful new friends, I had a brief reflection on how happy I was for the sacrifices id made the last two years in order to make this possible. I also decided that I would like to live here.
My brief fantasy of becoming Swiss quickly became dashed when Loïc informed me that for an American to move here permanently would be nearly impossible. Hence why I've decided, since I can't just love here apparently I will need to find a Swiss husband. As they all seem very beautiful, kind, and successful I'm open to Swiss husband applications at any time.
I relayed to Sebastian how in awe I was of the beauty of Switzerland which is when I found out about the 4am street cleanings.
Now I'm going to try not to get too political, but I'm just saying Switzerland really turned my way of thinking upside down. All I can say is that their people really have it good. It's expensive here, but they get paid well to afford it. (Nearly every car was a BMW or Mercedes. I'm pretty sure they wouldn't even allow my corolla on the road). They pay high taxes, but for those taxes they get free health care, a lot of police to feel safe, and a clean and beautiful environment to live. Additionally, they have free eduction even for their masters degrees so they develop a highly educate and competent society who brings in more revenue and taxes to support their awesome country. It's brilliant. Damn Swiss have it all figured out.
Anyways back to our lovely time at Geneva. After several hours of bliss, our new friend Loïc (who works at a hospital) had to leave for work. Sebastian being the Swiss man that he is which directly translates into super chivalrous, gave us a lift to the train station and even offered to drive us back to Lausanne if we preferred not to take the train (yea the Swiss rock).
When we got back to the hostel, we proceeded to horrify the other guests with some drunk munchies on loaves of bread and cheese before crashing for a quick power nap before MAD.
MAD turned out to be even better than we imagined. We managed to get in the wrong line for entrance, cutting about 50 people and the bouncer not only let us jump the que, but winked at us and said "just go in" thus saving us 50 francs and pretty much making our night because it meant we could eat the next day.
Inside MAD were more beautiful people, though about 15 men to every 1 woman (this seriously never happens in the states). Natalie and I discovered that Swiss men seem to like me, which is also something which never happens in the states and I was quite thrilled with. Most didn't speak English, but I was able to make fairly decent conversation using Spanish (thanks señor capagrecco that high school Spanish finally paid off!).
Natalie was getting her fair share of attention as well when one man came up to her and was dismayed that we didn't speak French. He smiled, threw up a peace sign, and said with a big grin"Peace and Love" before running off to one of the four levels of madness - this place was seriously a zoo in the best way.
(One of the levels of "MAD")
Shortly after peace and love peaced out, Natalie and I saw the real live version of Gaston sulking on a bar stool in the corner. He was 6'5, wearing his tightest pants and dress shirt, and had a pompadour which added another 5" to his already gigantic frame. We are still kicking ourselves for not getting a photo with him because later that night we pulled up clips of the Gaston song and nearly wet ourselves laughing so hard at the uncanny resemblance between him and the Disney cartoon.
The next day we went back to the beach, got more tan, drank more wine, and felt genuinely satisfied with our lives.
It was so fun people watching. Natalie and I especially enjoyed the European style swim trunks. They were just all so beautiful and somehow still masculine as they strutted around in their bright very tiny shorts eating their cookies and baguettes and drinking chilled rose.
After Geneva, we stopped at the train station store and bought the worlds most expensive deodorant (supplies had started running low) and I bought a baguette hot dog. I'd like to take a brief moment to point out that all hot dogs should be served this way- seriously.
On my way out of the store, I walked into the glass door. Everyone saw, but those damn Swiss, being the sweet wonderful polite folks they are, all looked away and pretended they didn't see so I wouldn't feel embarrassed. Meanwhile Natalie, clearly not Swiss, (understandably) pointed and laughed hysterically. I didn't care, I was just happy my baguette hot dog had not been injured in the incident.
In the evening, we had fondue and accidentally ordered the most expensive water ever.
We instantly regretted The fondue, which turned out to be more like a giant witch cauldron of cheese that could've fed a mountain village. The guy clearly just gathered all the cheese in his shop and threw it In there. Regardless of the exorbitant amount we paid for our cheese bowl, we mostly regretted it because we didn't have a private room or bathroom at this hostel and we didn't want to be the American version of the icky fat guy in London.
(Our mistake)
Luckily for us, and our bunk mates, our constitutions proved stronger than we expected and all was well. We had successfully eaten fondue in Switzerland without any repercussion.
On account of the fondue and our early morning train, Natalie and I opted to stay in for the evening and entertain ourselves by watching Gaston clips and downloading tinder to look at Swiss dudes.
As I swiped through my Swiss tinder, I was disgusted to find that nearly every man was absolutely gorgeous. In my brief trial of tinder in the states, I would swipe right once every 30-40 men. Here, even the ugly ones were beautiful. Not to mention, when they would write to me, it was all so nice. Unlike in Sac where a tinder conversation would begin with a copy and pasted message, they genuinely seemed interested in getting to know me and even if they weren't, at least they pretended which, via im message, feels equally satisfying.
The next morning we packed up and I deleted my tinder as I realized, they'll never be this good again. God bless those damn Swiss.
I will miss you Switzerland and your perfectly landscaped view, excessive police force, and hand washed streets - but now it's on to Florence for some pasta, pizza, and schmeagolly Italians!
I will see you again someday- I promise! In the meantime, any interested potential Swiss husbands are welcome to email me personally at LHimmelmann@hotmail.com
I look forward to you siring my children and our happy life together.
Cheers!
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