Today is our last day in London and was our first night in a mixed dorm.
In London, Natalie and I got reservations at Palmers Lodge - Swiss Cottage. We opted for a private room the first two nights and the 36 bed shared dorm the 3rd night to have the official "hostel experience". In my mind, the "official hostel experience" included Natalie and I sharing a room with a few fun Brazilian women and 30 beautiful blond Swedish men. What the official mixed bed experience actually was, was Natalie and I sharing a room with a bunch of chicks, a few old ladies, and one VERY FAT, VERY NAKED, old man who snored and farted the entire night.
Beyond that, however, we were super pleased with Palmers Lodge Swiss Cottage. It could not have been closer to the Underground which was perfect for site seeing and the actual facility was beautiful. Seriously it was like an English Mansion.
We were bummed that our flight mishaps made us late to London as we had scheduled to have English tea with our old friend Claire from school and had to cancel. When we finally arrived at our hostel on Saturday, we were so exhausted (physically and emotionally) that all we could do was eat some pizza and crash.
When we awoke on Sunday, however, we were raring to go!
London for site seeing was absolutely amazing. I have always had a delusional obsession with English History circa War of the Roses, Tudor Dynasty, etc. so having the opportunity to visit the Tower of London where Anne Boleyn was beheaded and Westminster Abbey where so many royals took refuge and Shakespeare's Globe Theatre....well it was incredible. Over Sunday and Monday we managed to see nearly everything we had planned to see and it was all so accessible through the tube and walking.
It was also pretty phenomenal watching Natalie try to garner up the balls to touch one of the English guards at Buckingham palace and then getting super stoaked when he winked at her. (For reference, he actually did wink at her too, I saw it and was oozing with jealousy)
Natalie and I were also really impressed with the Underground. It made getting around extremely easy. The entire city was extremely tourist friendly. My only issue was London would have to be the nightlife.
We did make it out on Sunday night. First we made our way to dinner where, after we were seated, realized the prices were astronomically above our pay grade. In an attempt to order something that didn't cost the same as my accommodations for the next 3 days, I ordered a gin martini (8 pounds) and the soup and half sandwich (14 pounds). Before I show you the photo of the sandwich that arrived, I'd like to remind you that $2 is equal to 1 British pound. So you can imagine my surprise when the nearly $30 ...baloney sandwich arrived. Lesson learned.
The only bright side of our overpriced lunchbox parading as a glam dinner was our super beautiful waiter who looked like the doppelganger of the blond vampire from true blood. We asked him where we should go out and he said Leicester square so to Leicester square we headed. On the tube we happened to be seated next to a British girl in a sequin club dress and high heels, but you know she's British so it's classy. She told us to take one exit further and beguiled us with such words of wisdom such as, "Don't go to Scotland on your trip. Its just full of land, houses, and old people". She seemed like just the vapid partier that would know where the best drinks were so we followed her advice.
In the end, we actually wandered over to Leicester which during the night is a horrible tourist trap. Much like Vegas there are predatory promoters everywhere, unlike Vegas they aren't promoting anything cool.
Natalie and I got lured by a little (seriously little like 5" little) East Indian man to come to "London's hottest rooftop night club" . As he was leading us there we ran into these southern gentlemen from Austin who we'd met earlier on the tram. The guys took one look at our little guide and seemed genuinely concerned we were about to be taken. We took a photo with them and bid our farewells, but Natalie and I were both growing a little weary of where we'd end up. As we got to the club, we immediately asked the buxom blond bouncer if this was a "normal club", she said yes and that was good enough for me. When we got to the club, Natalie and I ordered bottled beers (to avoid rufees) and looked around. We soon realized that we were in no danger of dying from being taken into sex slavery, we were only in danger of dying of boredom as we were seriously in the worst and emptiest club ever.
We spotted a trip of normal looking English guys and struck up a conversation. Somehow I ended up chatting with the midget of the bunch who upon hearing that we were from California immediately informed me that he loved California because he loved... hooters. Being a total asshole, I decided that it was time Natalie talk to the short guy and I talk to the hot one so I grabbed Natalie's arm and announced to the shrimp in the best serious face I could muster , "you know Natalie used to work for hooters!". Natalie instantly tried to put out the flames of my lie, but the damage was done and the shrimp was on her quicker than cocktail sauce.
Unfortunately even the hot Brit couldn't keep us entertained long enough at "penthouse" so we decided to face the piranha promoters outside and try to go in search of somewhere else. The promoters seemed more like sexual predators to me and we quickly hopped into a cab which unfortunately happened to be operated by an ex member of the British secret police who proceeded to give us a 20 minute lecture on (wait for it) being stupid.
On Monday we went out for fish and chips in Kensington. While sitting at our table, we watched as two Russian mobsters next to us started grabbing each other junk. After about 10 minutes, Nat and I asked if they'd mind not doing that which they turned ill an invite to our table. Long story short - they got really close, made a jack off motion while chanting "America", and then we left. I did try to use some of the cab drivers lecture tips, like saying "you are making me fear for my safety and stop!" But apparently those things only work on Brits- shocker.
In the end, after 3 nights and 3 different areas - I am convinced that London nightlife blows. Which really dashed my hopes of finding a nice Brit man to seduce into marrying me and having little blond rosey faced children with British accents.
Whereas Dublin didn't have a ton to see during the day, London didn't have a lot to see at night. Which was a damn shame because everywhere we looked there were beautiful English men in suits and no way to find access to them.
Oh well! On to Paris this afternoon!
In London, Natalie and I got reservations at Palmers Lodge - Swiss Cottage. We opted for a private room the first two nights and the 36 bed shared dorm the 3rd night to have the official "hostel experience". In my mind, the "official hostel experience" included Natalie and I sharing a room with a few fun Brazilian women and 30 beautiful blond Swedish men. What the official mixed bed experience actually was, was Natalie and I sharing a room with a bunch of chicks, a few old ladies, and one VERY FAT, VERY NAKED, old man who snored and farted the entire night.
Beyond that, however, we were super pleased with Palmers Lodge Swiss Cottage. It could not have been closer to the Underground which was perfect for site seeing and the actual facility was beautiful. Seriously it was like an English Mansion.
We were bummed that our flight mishaps made us late to London as we had scheduled to have English tea with our old friend Claire from school and had to cancel. When we finally arrived at our hostel on Saturday, we were so exhausted (physically and emotionally) that all we could do was eat some pizza and crash.
When we awoke on Sunday, however, we were raring to go!
London for site seeing was absolutely amazing. I have always had a delusional obsession with English History circa War of the Roses, Tudor Dynasty, etc. so having the opportunity to visit the Tower of London where Anne Boleyn was beheaded and Westminster Abbey where so many royals took refuge and Shakespeare's Globe Theatre....well it was incredible. Over Sunday and Monday we managed to see nearly everything we had planned to see and it was all so accessible through the tube and walking.
It was also pretty phenomenal watching Natalie try to garner up the balls to touch one of the English guards at Buckingham palace and then getting super stoaked when he winked at her. (For reference, he actually did wink at her too, I saw it and was oozing with jealousy)
(Here is a picture of blushing Natalie after she attempted to reach out and the guard winked at her)
Some of the most fun we had in England was definitely when we decided to rent these bikes. I understand now why Europeans drive on the left, it honestly makes WAY more sense and makes places a lot more bike friendly. Even idiots like us were able to get around. There was nothing quite like whizzing past England's most famous historical monuments on our Barclays Bikes.
(Here is a photo of me crossing the river on my bikes. A true American Trailblazer)
Natalie and I were also really impressed with the Underground. It made getting around extremely easy. The entire city was extremely tourist friendly. My only issue was London would have to be the nightlife.
We did make it out on Sunday night. First we made our way to dinner where, after we were seated, realized the prices were astronomically above our pay grade. In an attempt to order something that didn't cost the same as my accommodations for the next 3 days, I ordered a gin martini (8 pounds) and the soup and half sandwich (14 pounds). Before I show you the photo of the sandwich that arrived, I'd like to remind you that $2 is equal to 1 British pound. So you can imagine my surprise when the nearly $30 ...baloney sandwich arrived. Lesson learned.
The only bright side of our overpriced lunchbox parading as a glam dinner was our super beautiful waiter who looked like the doppelganger of the blond vampire from true blood. We asked him where we should go out and he said Leicester square so to Leicester square we headed. On the tube we happened to be seated next to a British girl in a sequin club dress and high heels, but you know she's British so it's classy. She told us to take one exit further and beguiled us with such words of wisdom such as, "Don't go to Scotland on your trip. Its just full of land, houses, and old people". She seemed like just the vapid partier that would know where the best drinks were so we followed her advice.
In the end, we actually wandered over to Leicester which during the night is a horrible tourist trap. Much like Vegas there are predatory promoters everywhere, unlike Vegas they aren't promoting anything cool.
Natalie and I got lured by a little (seriously little like 5" little) East Indian man to come to "London's hottest rooftop night club" . As he was leading us there we ran into these southern gentlemen from Austin who we'd met earlier on the tram. The guys took one look at our little guide and seemed genuinely concerned we were about to be taken. We took a photo with them and bid our farewells, but Natalie and I were both growing a little weary of where we'd end up. As we got to the club, we immediately asked the buxom blond bouncer if this was a "normal club", she said yes and that was good enough for me. When we got to the club, Natalie and I ordered bottled beers (to avoid rufees) and looked around. We soon realized that we were in no danger of dying from being taken into sex slavery, we were only in danger of dying of boredom as we were seriously in the worst and emptiest club ever.
We spotted a trip of normal looking English guys and struck up a conversation. Somehow I ended up chatting with the midget of the bunch who upon hearing that we were from California immediately informed me that he loved California because he loved... hooters. Being a total asshole, I decided that it was time Natalie talk to the short guy and I talk to the hot one so I grabbed Natalie's arm and announced to the shrimp in the best serious face I could muster , "you know Natalie used to work for hooters!". Natalie instantly tried to put out the flames of my lie, but the damage was done and the shrimp was on her quicker than cocktail sauce.
Unfortunately even the hot Brit couldn't keep us entertained long enough at "penthouse" so we decided to face the piranha promoters outside and try to go in search of somewhere else. The promoters seemed more like sexual predators to me and we quickly hopped into a cab which unfortunately happened to be operated by an ex member of the British secret police who proceeded to give us a 20 minute lecture on (wait for it) being stupid.
On Monday we went out for fish and chips in Kensington. While sitting at our table, we watched as two Russian mobsters next to us started grabbing each other junk. After about 10 minutes, Nat and I asked if they'd mind not doing that which they turned ill an invite to our table. Long story short - they got really close, made a jack off motion while chanting "America", and then we left. I did try to use some of the cab drivers lecture tips, like saying "you are making me fear for my safety and stop!" But apparently those things only work on Brits- shocker.
In the end, after 3 nights and 3 different areas - I am convinced that London nightlife blows. Which really dashed my hopes of finding a nice Brit man to seduce into marrying me and having little blond rosey faced children with British accents.
Whereas Dublin didn't have a ton to see during the day, London didn't have a lot to see at night. Which was a damn shame because everywhere we looked there were beautiful English men in suits and no way to find access to them.
Oh well! On to Paris this afternoon!
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